This a Comedy Sketch I wrote, directed and starred in for the ESPA COLLEGE Graduation Performance in 2012
THE MIKEY SHOW - An investigation of Neuro-Typicals HOSTED BY PROFESSOR MIKE BUNGAY
(Professor Mike Bungay walks up on the stage)
Professor Bungay: Good afternoon ladies and gentleman and welcome to The Mikey Show, I am your host Professor Mike Bungay and today I will be investigating the antics of Neuro-typicals. May I please welcome my 1st guest today, Professor Dom Murray?
(Professor Murray comes up on stage next to Professor Bungay)
Professor Murray: Good afternoon everyone, I am Professor Murray.
Professor Bungay: Yes hello Professor Murray (clears throat). Now can we please give a warm welcome to my 2nd guest today, Doctor Dawdler? Trust me he does not really dawdle, he just dithers!
Doctor Dawdler: Good afternoon whoops! (Trips) (Professor Bungay shakes his head, Professor Murray laughs) (Clears throat) I meant to say good afternoon all you Neuro-typicals out there. (Put hand above eyes and scan audience).
Professor Bungay: Don’t mind him; He can be a very cheeky monkey. Anyway, I and my guests have been investigating Neuro-typicals and we are here to reveal some of what we know about them. First of all, we all know how we were brought up to tell the truth when we were kids right?
Professor Murray and Doctor Dawdler: Right!
Professor Bungay: But then, as we aspies have noticed, Neuro-typicals then go and encourage us to be a bunch of filthy fibbing hypocrites!
Professor Murray: Too right! Last week a Neuro-typical person came to see me. She asked me if her butt looked big and to be perfectly honest it did!
Professor Bungay: Ah yes, I believe we have a couple of clips that show this very thing.
Clip 1 – Classroom
Professor Bungay: As we can see, this neuro-typical lassie did not respond well to the truth when she asked for it!
Clip 2 - Bottom
Professor Bungay: They should have asked her if she had a pin handy because they looked like a couple of beach balls! You say you want the truth but when you get it, you do not like it, they say the truth hurts!
Professor Murray: I have just had a Neuro-Typical ask me what I think of his haircut. He looked like a blooming porcupine! I do not think he would have been happy if I had told him that though!
Professor Bungay: So, as we have discovered, neuro-typicals have an unusual way of communicating. They ask for something but then become rather unhappy when they are given it and this makes us Aspies feel really awkward.
Doctor Dawdler: You hit the nail on the head there Professor!
Professor Bungay: I hope not, I would get pins and needles!
Professor Murray: Have you noticed that neuro-typicals constantly complain that we do not listen to them? HELLO! Maybe if they did not talk so much, blabbing on about the weather, how they feel etc ….we would listen!
Professor Bungay: We have also become aware of a rather strange language used by neuro-typicals. Rather than speaking plainly in their own language, they appear to enjoy the use of idioms, which appear to make no sense whatsoever, and I know I said idioms and not idiots in case you are wondering!
Doctor Dawdler: I agree! My patients come in and I can barely understand a word they are saying, it’s almost impossible to dig out the facts amongst everything else.
Professor Murray: We have a clip to show an example of this strange behaviour.
Clip 3 – Idioms
Professor Bungay: As I said earlier, all this is completely illogical!
Professor Murray and Doctor Dawdler: Completely!
Professor Bungay: It may take some time to completely decipher the unusual customs of neuro-typicals; however we are running out of time for today’s episode. Please join us next week for Episode 4 when we will be exploring the social behaviour of neuro-typicals and attempting to decipher the mystery of them.
Professor Bungay: I would just like to thank this week’s guests, Professor Murray and Doctor Dawdler.
Professor Murray and Doctor Dawdler: Thank you Professor Bungay. Goodbye everyone!
Professor Bungay: And it is goodbye from them!